Trauma, Dissociation, And The Way Back To Yourself with Isa lara Marie

Disconnection rarely shows up with a warning label. It can look like “fine” on the outside while you quietly feel absent from your own life, second-guessing every decision, pushing through days that never fully land in your body. That’s where we start: the hidden cost of functioning while dissociated, and the shame so many of us carry for it.

I’m joined by Isa Lara Mary, whose work is shaped by her own healing from profound trauma and the long road back to the self she once had to leave behind. Together, we challenge the idea that emotional pain means you’re broken. Isa reframes numbness and shutdown as a nervous system survival strategy, a brilliant form of protection that can kick in when experiences are too overwhelming and resources are too scarce. We talk about what dissociation feels like in everyday terms, why boundaries often get messy when you’re not fully present, and how self-blame can keep you stuck in the same protective loop.

We also explore what it means to return gently. Instead of “fixing,” we focus on reconnection: noticing sensations, allowing feelings, using breath and meditation to meet what arises with kindness. If you’re searching for trauma healing tools, nervous system regulation, help with dissociation, or a more compassionate path to mindfulness and somatic healing, this conversation offers a grounded starting point.

Subscribe for more honest conversations, share this with someone who feels far from themselves, and leave a review if the message lands. What part of your experience are you ready to feel again, one breath at a time?

Transcript

When Disconnection Turns Quiet

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Dearlessness, you know, like there's a quiet violence in Dick's connection. I mean, not the kind that announces itself, but the kind that settles in slowly until one day you realize that you have been living outside your own body for longer than you can remember. Right? So you have been functioning, you performing, even somewhere along the way, the thread that connected you to yourself came undone. And maybe nobody told you that healing is not about fixing what's broken. Maybe nobody said to you that the way back is very simpler and harder than you think. That it starts not with doing more, but with feeling what's already there.

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_01 0:42

So hey dear listeners, welcome back to another powerful episode of Mind Meets Machine. I'm your host, Abek, and this is a podcast where we slow down enough to ask the questions that matter and listen for the answers that land in the body, not just in mind. So I'm I'm joined by uh a very lovely guest today. So please welcome Isa Lara Mary. So welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Thank you so much. Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Dear listeners, like before we get into the discussion, quickly love to introduce with this. Isa work has born through her own journey of healing profound trauma and reconnecting with the self that trauma had taught her to leave behind. So I'll not take much of a time because there are a lot of things to discuss with her. Uh let's

The Myth Of Being Broken

SPEAKER_01 1:22

get started. So so uh Isa, like I mean, there's this idea like floating around that if we are struggling emotionally or feeling disconnected, it means something is fundamentally wrong with us. That we are broken in some way. All on that perspective, like you have walked through that terrain yourself. So, what do you think? What do I mean, uh uh what would you uh say to someone who's living inside that story right now?

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Okay, it's so common, isn't it? It's too common. Yeah. So if you are feeling like something's wrong with you just because you're having emotion or feeling a challenge, that isn't true at all. We are we literally are consciousness incarnate in a body, and we are here, we're really here to feel, to be human, to have a human experience. And the way I see it is that we are the divine or consciousness, and it's big, right? The divine is this beautiful vastness, and it holds everything. So our emotions, our thoughts, our body sensations, it's all welcome, it's all part of this bigger collection of the divine consciousness. And what I had to learn very young was the path actually through awakening was through healing and allowing my humanity and realizing that even though there was pain, a lot of pain in the past, and grief, it wasn't my fault, and it's not your fault to be able to listen. It's that's natural to have emotion, and that's just a sign that your heart is open, that you are vital, you are connected, and it's not a wrong thing with you, it's actually a right thing with you. It's like you're more expanded, you're connected, and you get to bring consciousness, right? Or the divine into that. So I would meditate and I would bring my emotion in and just feel whatever the feeling was and bring love, divine love to that and kindness, and then I would just feel and breathe into that and remind myself and you now that we're not that, but we need to feel that it's part of us, and it doesn't mean anything is wrong, it means everything is right. We are connected, we are alive and we are open-hearted. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

So, I mean, I mean, thank you so much for

The Lived Feel Of Dissociation

SPEAKER_01 4:17

sharing that. And you know, like when you were in that place of disconnection, so what did it actually feel like day to day? I mean, daily. I mean, not the clinical version of it, but the lived experience of it.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

Yeah, day to day, it felt like I was somewhere else, other than my body, like I was floating at times or spacey, or not really present, you know, kind of just going with the motions of life, but not really here, not really connected. And I I would get very indecisive. It was very hard for me to make decisions because I was so out of my body, dissociated, and I didn't have it felt like messy boundaries at that time. I had very poor boundaries, I wasn't aware, and honestly, I generally felt lost. Like at times, like I was running from something, but I didn't know what it was, and it was actually my own self, my own feelings and the memories that I was sort of running. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

I'm just thinking, I'm just processing it.

Shame, Survival, And Self Trust

SPEAKER_01 5:38

So, like, I mean, it's really striking that how often we internalize the disconnection as a personal failure when in uh reality it's a protective response. Like uh, how do you say the the I mean the system doing what it had to do, obviously, to survive, but yet we carry kind of so much of shame about it. And that expression I I feel, I mean that that is obviously what I I felt. So nothing, nothing wrong about it, but uh that is that is my uh feeling, what I felt. So, but yeah, I mean, thank you so much for clarifying that I I had to I had to think about it when you just say uh but yeah, it is it is really, really helpful.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Yeah. Do you want is it okay to respond to that? Please, please. Yeah, so I you named something so important, Avik, which is that when it's happening, we think we it's human nature to think that we're doing something wrong, that something's wrong with us. I felt it was my fault. I thought for sure I was broken or something was wrong with me. I felt imit shame back then. But what I learned, like you just named, is that it was a beautiful, brilliant coping mechanism that my system, we all have this, it just came online, and that is how it protected me from the overwhelming trauma and the experiences. And I wasn't ready at that time. You know, I couldn't, it was too overwhelming, and I was too young. And so I didn't have the resources or the safety or the skills to actually feel that level of trauma and emotions. And so, if you or any, I mean anyone listening, you mean you is having that, it's not your fault. Your system is doing what it needs to do to protect you and keep you from being overwhelmed, and to keep you safe and keep you safe, actually, to keep you coherent in your mind and and safe. And there becomes a time in our healing at some point where we get this awareness. Oh, I'm disconnected. You know, we we start to become aware of this, and the tendency will be to think it's our fault, and it is not. You can just say, thank you, system, thank you, body, for taking care of me all these years. And now we can reconnect. Now we can start the journey of reconnecting. Correct.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

Extremely true. So, yeah, and I also really love the the one which you just said is about the disconnection. You talk about people being kind of disconnected from themselves and they trying to function from that place, right? So, so what I want to ask is like, what do you think that creates that disconnection in that first place? Like, is there a kind of deeper pattern or the conditions that pull us out of our bodies and away from our own authority? So, something we can share.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

Yes, yes,

Breath, Reconnection, And Closing Invite

SPEAKER_00 8:45

absolutely. My sense is that there are many factors that create all of our disconnection.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Yes, amazing. Wow, that is that is really lovely. So I also would love to ask, like for someone who is listening who might be recognizing themselves in this conversation. So, how does this disconnection actually show up in the everyday life? Yeah, okay, amazing, amazing. And if you have to give one advice to the listeners today, what that will be. Amazing. And if listeners wants to connect with you, what will be the great medium to connect? Exactly, exactly. And um, okay, and you know, like and it's really great connecting with you and knowing you, and uh it's for everyone who is listening, it's a kind of uh lessons and the feelings that so I have to say, dear listeners, like what I'll do is I'll put all the links, details, everything into the show notes for your easy reference so that you can easily reach out to Isa. And uh I have to say that, dear listeners, like what you take from this conversation is definitely yours. Not as something to do, but as something to remember. Like that you are not broken, that disconnection is not a failure, that the way back to yourself, how however long the journey is, begins with this breath, this moment, and this willingness to feel what's here. And that's enough. That's always been enough. So I'll not say much words. I'll just say think about it, listen it, connect with Isa and also do uh share us what you feel, what you're thinking about. It'll really be great to know and share with people, right? So uh with this, I'd say this is your host of weekend, this is my needs machine. We'll see you in the next one. Thank you so much.