The Power of Grit in Times of Transformation With Laura

Change does not solicit our consent, nor does it arrive at a propitious juncture; rather, it manifests unexpectedly, often leaving us grappling with an existence we did not elect. This episode delves into the profound experiences of our esteemed guest, Laura Breton, who, having lost her sight as a teenager, has since cultivated a life dedicated to aiding others in navigating the tumultuous waters of change. We explore the intricate interplay between grief and growth, emphasizing the necessity of acknowledging one's pain as a precursor to resilience. Laura’s insights illuminate the essence of grit and gratitude, elucidating how one can find strength amidst adversity. As we engage in this poignant discourse, we invite listeners to reflect on their own journeys through change and to recognize the inherent value of their humanity during such transformative periods.

The profound nature of change is intricately examined in our recent discourse, as we delve into the unavoidable reality that change does not seek our consent nor does it arrive at opportune moments. It intrudes upon our lives, often without warning, thrusting us into scenarios that challenge our prior notions of self and existence. Our enlightening discussion with Laura Breton, a remarkable individual who faced the life-altering challenge of losing her sight during her teenage years, poignantly highlights this transformative journey. Laura's insights offer a candid exploration of the psychological and emotional turmoil that accompanies such profound change, emphasizing that the crux of the matter lies in the evolution of our identity amidst adversity. What emerges from our conversation is the understanding that it is not merely the change itself that defines us, but rather our response to it and our capacity to navigate the uncertain terrain it presents. Throughout our dialogue, Laura articulates the necessity of acknowledging the pain inherent in loss and transition. She challenges the prevalent tendency to gloss over discomfort in favor of an optimistic narrative, advocating instead for a deeper engagement with our grief. This approach not only validates our emotional experiences but also fosters resilience, allowing us to emerge from our trials with newfound strength. Laura's perspective underscores the importance of allowing oneself to grieve the loss of what once was, acknowledging that this process is not a sign of weakness but an integral part of the human experience. It is within this space of vulnerability that we may discover our inner fortitude and the potential for growth. Furthermore, we explore the complex interplay between fear, identity, and gratitude in the context of navigating change. Laura emphasizes that fear often lies at the heart of our resistance to transformation, as it compels us to confront the unknown. She offers a nuanced understanding of gratitude, distinguishing between the superficial acknowledgment of blessings and the profound appreciation that emerges only after one has traversed the tumultuous path of grief and acceptance. This conversation is a clarion call to embrace our humanity, affirming that we are enough in our current state, irrespective of the challenges we face. Ultimately, our exchange with Laura serves as a vital reminder that while change is an inevitable aspect of life, so too is our capacity to adapt, grow, and find meaning in the midst of it all.

Takeaways:

• Change is an inevitable aspect of life that does not require our consent or approval, often arriving unexpectedly and without regard for our plans.
• The journey through change involves a significant transformation of one's identity, compelling us to confront who we were versus who we are becoming.
• Genuine healing requires us to acknowledge and validate our pain, rather than suppressing it; this is a crucial step in moving forward after loss.
• Gratitude should not be introduced prematurely in the grieving process; it is a natural outcome once we have navigated through our pain and chosen to move forward.
• Fear and identity are central themes when we experience significant changes, as they compel us to reevaluate our self-worth and purpose in light of our altered circumstances.
• The importance of community support during times of transition cannot be overstated; it provides the necessary framework for navigating change effectively.

Links referenced in this episode:

• laurabreton.com

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Dear listeners, change doesn't ask permission. It doesn't arrive at a convenient time. It doesn't care about the plans that you had already made or the life you thought you were building.

Embracing Change

SPEAKER_01 0:13

It just arrives sometimes quietly, sometimes all at once, and suddenly you are standing in a version of your life that you don't or didn't choose. The question is never whether change will come. The question is what you become in the space between who you were and who you are learning to be. So today's guest, dear listeners, has lived that question from the inside and what she found there is worth slowing down for. So here dear listeners, welcome back to another powerful episode of Mind Meets Machine, where we sit with the conversation that actually matter about the human experience, about resilience, and about what it really takes to move forward. I'm your host, Avik, and I'm glad that all of you are here today. And my guest today is a keynote speaker, coach, author who became blind as a teenager and who has since built a life and a career around helping others navigate change with honesty, grit, and genuine gratitude. Thank you. Welcome to the show. Amazing, amazing. So, Laura, like um, I want to start something uh uh I mean somewhere like uh before we get into details. Like, when you think back to the period right after losing your losing your sight as a teenager, not the lessons that you eventually found, not what it made you, but just that moment of being in it. So, what do you most want people to understand about?

SPEAKER_00 1:53

So, my first reaction that thank you for the way you put that, to just to describe to people what that was like, it was complete denial. It was, and what I mean by that, let me give you practical examples. It was, oh, I'm not going blind, I'm just losing a little bit of vision. Or this is not gonna be permanent, this will be all over and I'll have my vision back by the time I graduate from high school. So even though I didn't cognitively believe that, that was my only coping mechanism. And that that denial didn't last long, and what did last for a very long time was the deep grief process. Because I was not only grieving my vision that I was going blind, I was grieving the quote normal teenage experience. So the opportunity to, you know, start driving, the opportunity to have a job that obviously included a lot of sight that you had to do with sight. So just those normal teenage independent marker. I was grieving that I wasn't able to do that. And the the reason I'm so thankful that you asked that question is we often skip the pain part of the story and jump instantly to the ta-da, rainbows, and it was all good in the end. We jump and we don't talk about and don't focus on the pain. So thank you for asking that, and thank you for allowing me to speak on that because that again, when I was going through this experience, I didn't hear these stories of the pain point. It was I had this horrible tragedy, and then now I'm this great successful person. They didn't share the middle. So I thought something was wrong with me.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

Correct. Yeah. So, like you work with people navigating change, and your story is an extraordinary example of it. So, but I imagine when people first met you, they carry a particular assumption about um how you how you must have responded to what happened. Like, there's a version of the story people expect. What's the misconception about navigating amazing life change that you find yourself chainly connected?

SPEAKER_00 4:23

The misconception that everyone gives me, regardless of age, ray, like any category that you want to put, is they all assume I have some deeper human, superhuman level of strength. Where the reality is, if they were faced with the same situation, they would have to tap into that level of strength too. So people, again, the misconception is I have some supernatural superwoman power, right? That help me to navigate through. The truth is we all have it within us. It's just some of us have to use it and some of us don't have to, depending on our life situation, our life circumstances.

Navigating Change and Grit

SPEAKER_01 5:19

So, what does grit actually mean?

SPEAKER_00 5:21

Just as you said the word permission, I want to share a short interaction that I had with a mentor that gave me permission to have grit because that's exactly what I thought grit was pressure, pressure to get over it, swab the pain, don't talk about the pain, don't show your feelings, just move on. The permission came in a conversation with a mentor. So she was the academic advisor at the university where I was starting college. And we were having a meeting, having a session right before I started college about just the typical my schedule and books and everything involved. The end of the conversation, which had what she was gonna say, had nothing to do with our previous conversation. She just said, Laura, I just want to tell you that it's okay to grieve the rest of your life. That you can grieve and you can move forward at the same time. I know you think you grieved through high school and you think that's over, and now the time trying college is the time to move forward. And she literally said permission. I want to give you permission to do both. It's okay to grieve what you lost while also choosing to move forward. So she gave me permission to sit in the pain, to feel the pain, and then make that courageous choice to even move forward in the pain.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

Exactly. And um, like when you work with people who are navigating significant change, like loss, transition, the ground shifting under them. So, what do you see underneath the surface, like beyond the obvious disruption? So, what are the two things people are actually grappling with that?

SPEAKER_00 7:16

They often don't have what's for fear of the unknown, fear of the change, fear of the overwhelming situation. And again, I can say that from working with teenagers, people in their 30s, 60s, 80s, any again, it's not like an age thing or a career. Again, it is not based on our labels, it's fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of what the future will look like, fear of what the future will be like. So if I had to sum it up in one word, I would say fear.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

And identity sits at the center of so much uh of what change disrupts. Um, so when the role uh you played, the abilities you had, the future you imagined gets altered. What tends to happen to someone's senses of who they are?

SPEAKER_00 8:13

It strips us from who we thought we were. My identity was wrapped up, and this is what so many people tell me my identity was wrapped up in my profession. Or my identity was wrapped up in being a parent, and now my parent, you know, my child has died, or their future doesn't look like I thought it was gonna be. It's again, it circles back to that fear because we have our identity in one label, and that's who we think we are, and we're only worthy in that label. And so when we have change that causes us to move from when we had no longer had that identity, it's like, well, then who am I? Am I worth it? Do I have meaning? Do I have purpose? So that's when all the fear and all the questions come up of who am I if this sense of identity that I'm I clung so tightly to has been taken away, has now changed.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

And also, like, I'm curious about the gratitude part, like because it's a word that can land very differently depending on where someone is in their story. So for someone in the early raw stage of a major change, being told to be grateful can feel uh dismissive, almost insulting. And yet you clearly carry genuine gratitude as a thought line. Um I mean, sorry, as as a true line in your

Navigating Change and Identity

SPEAKER_01 9:40

work and your your life. So, how do uh thank you for asking?

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Thank you for perfectly saying you said exactly what I was going to say, but it gratitude feels dismissive. It feels like you don't understand the depth of my pain. So, no, I do not recommend gratitude at the beginning. When someone comes to me with a major change, I don't introduce gratitude until much further down the path. We focus more on the grit, the validating the pain, the emotions, the change, the fear, and then still choosing to move forward. The gratitude comes in when we're at that point where we've made that decision. Yes, this is hard, yes, it is overwhelming, and I will choose to move forward. And that's where the gratitude comes in. And what gratitude looks like is focusing on what we have that helps us navigate through the change, not being grateful for the change. So, a very popular example in my life and that that I work with other people on is I didn't learn to say, I'm so grateful for this blindness, I'm thankful this happened. I at the end of the day say, Okay, this is not what I choose, but this is reality, this is the situation, and I'm grateful to have a guide dog and also navigate the world. So again, I want to make it very, very, very clear. It's not, I don't introduce gratitude, and I do not recommend gratitude when you just have experienced a loss. It's when you have chosen to move forward. When you've chosen, okay, this is my new rally for here. Now choose to move

Navigating Change and Acknowledging Pain

SPEAKER_00 11:30

forward in it. That's when the gratitude comes in as the source of strength.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

So, um, okay, and and like um for someone who is listening right now who is in the middle of a teenage, they didn't ask for maybe a health shift, a relationship pending, or which is ending, a career collapsing, loss of something they thought was permanent. So, what is the first honest thing they need to give themselves permission to do? Not a fix, not a ref.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Just first real and validate their emotions. Acknowledge, yes, I'm having a pain attack because this is so scary. I don't know how I'm gonna pay the bills. Yes, I am overwhelmed with depression because I thought this job was gonna be here forever. I thought this person, this relationship was gonna be there forever. I cannot say enough about the power of sitting and acknowledging our pain and the extreme circumstances. Yeah, this is a really, really hard situation to navigate. And I wish it wasn't happening to me. And I just want to not deal with it and wish it would go away. Validating that pain gives us power to then move forward. When we skip that step, we always feel it in our being, but not having the acknowledgement a lot just prevents us from moving forward because we're stuffing down the emotions we just want to feel and express. So does that make sense what I mean? It sounds kind of intuitive. Like, why would you feel the pain, right? Let's move away from the pain.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

But sitting and acknowledging the pain lets the pain breathe. It lets the pain dissipate, it lets the pain go away.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

I agree. I agree. And um, so like and coaching, the work uh you do one-on-one with people. What does that space make possible that a keynote or book cannot quite reach?

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Like, I mean, what happens in the gift of the coaching is that we can dive deep specifically in that person's situation. The gift of the keynote of the book is that I can provide empowerment and resources for people to take and use. The gift of the coaching is we can take those same resources and make them specific to your loss, to your change, to your transition, to exactly what you're experiencing. So the coaching makes it very tailored to the person's experience.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

The difference between inspiration and the transformation is often that personal accompaniment. So someone walking alongside you when the path gets unclear. And that's not something a stage moment or I'd say a chapter can fully replicate. That's a relationship. And I think definitely like what you are saying is how real change actually happens for because again, it provides that healthy interdependence.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

I have a coach that I can trust that I can depend on in a healthy way to know when I'm feeling weak, when I'm angry, when I'm crying, they're going to be there to support me. They're not just gonna tell me, get over it and move on.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

And so so change is is not a one-time event for most people, and neither is the navigation of it. So there are seasons where you feel you have found your footing and then something shifts again. So for someone who has worked hard to adapt, to grow, to build something new, and then finds the ground moving again, how do you help them access what they have already built rather than starting over?

SPEAKER_00 15:37

Often forget, and me included, is to remember back to the hard situations, the hard change that we've been through, and remembering what resources helped us get through. We're still here, we survived. So, what strength, what healthy interdependence, what grace, what did we tap into that helped us move forward? Remembering those resources and using those resources again and again and again. And that's why for me, the power of grit and the power of gratitude are two resources I use every single day. It's not just something I wrote a book about or that I speak about or coach with other people. I literally use these personally every single day. Because as you said, life is always changing, it's always shifting right when we think we have our foundation. Oh, I've got this thing figured out, right? Yeah. And then it changes. So yeah, thank you for again saying that because that just reminds me and reminds all of us, we can tap into those resources we've used before. So we don't need to start over.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

Exactly. And uh looking back across your own life, the teenager who lost her sight and the woman speaking to us right now, what is the thing that you most wish someone had said to you in that early and disobeying period? Like, what did you need to hear that no one to grieve?

SPEAKER_00 17:12

When I had that person when I was starting college who gave permission to grieve, that was literally life-changing. And I don't mean that as a cliche, I mean that very literal.

Navigating Grief and Change

SPEAKER_00 17:25

If if someone had said that to me years before at the beginning of my vision loss, it's okay to grieve. And grieving is not a weakness, that would have helped my healing so much. So just if if I could give one gift to everyone listening, when you're going through a hard time and change and transition, let yourself grieve and know that that grieving is not a weakness, it's a part of the human experience.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Very true, very true, yeah. And I think that answer is probably exactly what someone uh listening today needed to hear too. There's something full full circle in the fact that you are now the one saying it, right? So exactly. So yeah, yeah, and um Laura, like um this is for the person who is right in the middle of something they don't know how to hold, who is exhausted by the gap between who they were and who they are being asked to become, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:37

So who isn't not sure that the other side of this is worth the what I want to say to them, and again, this is what I would have said to myself then when I was in that place, when you were so exhausted and you're hopeless, and you don't know am I going to make it through? Am I gonna make it to the other side or make it through this change or loss? That's the time to depend on your support system. And that support system can be a friend, a family member, it can be nature, it can be the gift of the sunshine, it can be music, it can be art, it can be reading. Find something outside of yourself to trust in, to lean on when you are so exhausted that you don't think you can keep going.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

And um also, like um, if you have to give one massist to all the business to do what that.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

So if you have to give one massist to all the business, what and know that in the midst of change, in the midst of loss, in the midst of transition, you and your humanity are enough. It's not when I get through this change, then I'm enough. When I get through the transition, the loss, then I'm gonna be worthy to other people. It's not when, or it's not I used to be, it's right now who you are today in this moment. That is enough.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Yep. Amazing, amazing.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

Um, so our website, labratten.com, has all the resources on connecting, the speech game, combine my words. Speaking, coaching, the book, connecting on LinkedIn, emailing me, it's all there. And please, please definitely reach out.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Amazing. So, yes, dearest does, please reach out to Laura and I'll put all the links and the details into the show notes for you easy to friends. And um, I have to say that that's the wrap of today's episode on Mind Meets Machine. But if this conversation landed somewhere in you, let it. Don't rush to wrap it up immediately. Change really is the need, and that's okay. So uh a lot of details are maybe the in the show notes, and if someone in your life is navigating something hard right now, this episode might be exactly what they needed to hear today. So, with this ho, this is your host of week, and this is my mate's machine. Whatever change you are carrying, you don't have to carry it perfectly. You just have to keep going. So, take care of yourself and we'll see you soon in the next time. Thank you so much.